Circumstances often make us do things which we may not do otherwise. Sometimes we feel that our reactions have cost us an opportunity or that things could have turned out differently, had we taken that one step. From not using our time wisely at school to a bad career or business decision to our personal lives, this list of "had we" and "had we not" is endless but are we being fair to ourselves by living with the guilt and regret?
We know that some guilt is good for us. Natural guilt means that our heart is alive. It warns us and leads to sincere remorse and repentance and is not excessive. We are empowered to accept our mistakes but not to dwell on them. We know the importance of handling our feelings carefully because of the risk of slipping into a toxic cycle of guilt, shame and actions that trigger the same! There is an urgent need to protect ourselves from falling into the abyss of self doubt, despair and even existential guilt. Our foremost step to avoid being consumed by toxic guilt is proactive repentance. We choose to direct our efforts towards addressing the situation, re evaluating our actions, reforming our behaviour and moving forward progressively. We do not become heedless and are careful and conscious of not repeating our mistakes as much as humanly possible. Should others become overwhelmed by guilt, we do not insult or dismiss them but validate their feelings and help them. If we have survived an event, we are grateful and do not feel like we did not deserve it because we are mindful of things far beyond our control.
As complex as guilt sounds and feels, our innate modesty and moderation in actions and speech heals us properly, disciplines our thoughts and guards us from negativity. With repentance, reason, modesty and moderation of mind, all fear evaporates. The burden of mistakes does not crush us as we let go of the guilt and look forward to life with a more hopeful lens..
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